Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
