I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm passing your future prison.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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