i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So gin and wine won't be happening again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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