He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
