We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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