Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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