Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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