Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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