You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
a search helicopter?!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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