Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
