wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
