You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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