Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
two words...techno handjob
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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