Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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