Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
