And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
