Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize