He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
