Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it was like eating out sand paper
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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