im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm really busy with my period
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