haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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