dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
