One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
