wat bout pragnant strippers??
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
