i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
