Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just puked most of my soul out..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
