i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
