I want to have your abortion
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
