fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
