stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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