This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Text me some of your sweat
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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