I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
