yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
