3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
