she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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