are you still at the devil's house?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I party with great urgency now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
