You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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