Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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