i'm signing you up for texting rehab
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
