I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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