Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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