Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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