we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
