She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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