Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Shame is for Republicans.
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