yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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