just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This baby is an asshole
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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