so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize