OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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