what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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