I think I died a long time ago.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
