Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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