i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
