I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
