if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
