i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
