Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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