on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
