Just mADE A PArabola og urine
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
