Don't you send me to vm
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
