I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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